Wounded By Accusation

 

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Here are some posts I've written that speak to those who find themselves particularly wounded by accusation:  

"Generalized Accusation Disorder:"  My Story

 
"You're Getting Hit With Accusation - The Warning Signs"

 
"Conviction is Different Than Accusation"

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Especially for introverts:

"Why Accusation Is So Debilitating for Sensitive Hearts"

 
"Were You a 'High-Reactive/High-Sensitive" Introverted Kid?"

 
"Introverts and the Church:  The Pain of Performance and Perceptions"

"Fully-Devoted" and Quietly Ashamed: How some Christian books crush the heart with pressure tactics.

Pop Christianity's message of "commitment"
Popular Christian books come with a clear message:  "You are lukewarm at best; on the fence with Jesus and far from a "fully-devoted follower."  You're keeping Jesus at arms'-length because you're too busy or too apathetic.  You're not fully-surrendered to Christ." 

Serving up a diet of pressure, "conviction," and self-deprecation, these pop-Christian books will have you nervously reconsidering whether you're a radically committed "fully-devoted follower" of Jesus or merely a "fan" watching casually from the stands.  The author's "wake-up call" will admonish you to "up your game" and "ratchet up your commitment" with the same suffocating judicial strong-arming the Accuser himself delights in. Their message is built upon this core assumption:  "Your heart, Christian, is naturally unfaithful and it is our job to point that out to you."

Exposure disquised as truth-telling
These popular books delight in exposing you.... reaching in to rip your spiritual fig leaves off, leaving you naked and branded for spiritual adultery.  "Step up your commitment.  Get off the fence." The authors use pressure disguised as "admonishment" and "truth-telling" to lay bare your lack of spiritual fervor.

Here's one reader's comment on a recent popular Christian book she read:

I feel this is a great book to get you really thinking about your relationship with God. Am I "all-in"? Am I committed? Am I a fan, or an "enthusiastic admirer," that is running lukewarm for Christ, instead of on fire?

The reader's comment continues...

In all honesty, this book revealed to me that I'm not 100% completely committed. When I'm honest, I put other things before God. Not all the time, but sometimes. Do I surrender all? Do I die to self everyday? It's sad to say the answer to these questions is . . . no. I can be full of pride, I can be selfish, I can be judgmental. I'm a sinner...

Why do authors and pastors write these books?
Can we live from the flesh and get apathetic, succumbing to a myopic view of other's needs?  Of course.  But the problem doesn't lie in the commitment or faithfulness of your heart - for the heart that was "prone to wander" has been replaced with a thoroughly good...and faithful heart.  [Ezek. 36:26]

I think one of the reasons there are so many Christian books designed to expose our lack of commitment to being "radical followers" is precisely because those leaders believe the Christian's heart remains "prone to wander" and therefore prone to apathy and lukewarm commitment. The authors are writing books based upon outdated assumptions, treating a threat [a diseased nature] that no longer exists - like vaccinating people against small pox even though that disease was declared wiped out worldwide by 1979.

Rather than assuming the believer's heart needs scolding and judicial exposure, they need to acknowledge that Christ has decisively removed the old, unfaithful heart, and replaced it with a new heart that will gladly move in love and devotion towards God and others if they'll just stop scolding it.

Related posts:

• "My Story:  Generalized Accusation Disorder"


• "Why the Dinka and Nuer Tribes Pull Their Children's Permanent Teeth Out"


• Video:  "Prone to Wander Myth"

Note:  I don't fault pastors for what they believe - they're simply teaching what they've been taught.  However, a refusal to question our assumptions about the Christian's heart will lead to more defeated and less Christ-like followers.  A pressured focus on law inflames sin rather than constraining it.

'Side-effects' of the false gospel

What side-effects does a person living under the false 'gospel' experience?  Religious duty and the constant pressure to be more spiritual and sin less comes with long-term adverse consequences.    [By the way, a Christian doesn't sin less by becoming obsessed with sinning less.]

SIDE EFFECTS:

• Spiritual pressure to measure up to expectations.
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• Spiritual heaviness.
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• You suspect God, is in fact, not really pleased with you.


• You're constantly being asked by leadership to be more committed.


• Every message is about getting you to do something, or to stop doing something.


• The leadership is more concerned with managing people's sin than releasing a new life that is now within them.


• No one ever talks about the heart, and when they do, it is with suspicion -- even in the case of the believer.

What have you experienced when you've encountered a substitute "gospel?"


MP3 downloads are now available for my audiobook

The MP3 downloads for the audio book version of my book, Recover Your Good Heart, are now available. 

[Click here.]

The physical 4-CD sets will be available by the middle or end of next week.

Books I recommend

The following books take the idea of the Christian's good heart seriously. 
I highly recommend them:

by Larry Crabb
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by Dwight Edwards
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by Andrew Farley
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by Stone & Smith

What books do you recommend that take the Christian's good heart seriously? [Post a comment below.]

Related posts:

"How to Shame a Christian"  - video

"As the heart goes, so goes a life."

Audio book update!

The audio book is done!

The files and artwork have been sent off to the CD duplicator.  The audio book CD sets should be shipping to me at the end of the week, and I'll make them available on the blog next week.  [CD sets and MP3 download.]

Danger: Exhortation that ignores the new heart

Much of what passes for the “gospel” these days is a message of exhortation without regeneration—preaching that excludes the New Covenant reality of a transformed heart. (Or more accurately, preaching that is grossly unaware of this transformation having already occurred.)

The message of exhortation translated today says, “You’re not doing enough of this; or you’re doing too much of that:” “You’re too selfish, not committed to your marriage, not serving enough …”

Exhortation becomes an attempt to manage (or manipulate) people’s behavior by pressure and guilt, rather than urging them to release the good stored up in their heart through Christ’s work in them.  Exhortation leans toward the 'not-enough' and 'not yet' rather than relentlessly pursuing the  supernaturally-pure heart Jesus has already given us at our conversion.

[Excerpted from my book: Recover Your Good Heart -- Living Free from Religious Guilt and the Shame of Not Good-Enough.]

E-book available - "RECOVER YOUR GOOD HEART"

It's possible to be forgiven, yet not free. 

Many Christians are living under very damaging assumptions about their heart.  I wrote the book to expose those assumptions and to help readers believe that their heart is now truly good and noble.

My book, Recover Your Good Heart is available in E-book format below.  You can also find it in print on Amazon.

RECOVER YOUR GOOD HEART

God is committed to your splendor

What if God couldn't keep quiet about you?  Eager to show you off -- to expose not your sin; but your splendor and goodness? 

Your glory is God's mission.  Listen to what he says:

¹ For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
       for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
       till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
       her salvation like a blazing torch.

 ² The nations will see your righteousness,
       and all kings your glory;
       you will be called by a new name
       that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

³ You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand,
       a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

 ⁴ No longer will they call you Deserted,
       or name your land Desolate.
       But you will be called Hephzibah, [my delight is in her]
       and your land Beulah [married] ;
       for the LORD will take delight in you,
       and your land will be married.

 ⁵ As a young man marries a maiden,
       so will your sons marry you;
       as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
       so will your God rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:1-5

Let him do this.  It's quite possibly backwards from what you've been taught your whole life.  Give him permission to show you off.

PODCAST - QUIZ - Recover Your Good Heart

Quiz - Recover Your Good Heart -- Take the quiz with Jim as he exposes the tragic assumptions we've made about our hearts as Christians.  You may be surprised at the answers.

You can also get Jim's free e-book, The Gospel of the Heart - exposing the false gospel that manages externals and sabotages the heart.

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As always, feel free to leave your comments below!

"The Misunderstood God" - review

Our emotional health is directly tied to our view of God.  Faulty assumptions about God will sabotage your heart.  For that reason, I highly recommend Darin Hufford's new book, The Misunderstood God - the lies religion tells us about God, because the book so ably exposes those harmful assumptions and invites the reader into a deeper freedom. 

The book also has staying power.  I found myself reflecting on key portions of the book long after I'd read it.  The chapter exposing the myth of  "The Angry God" reminded me that, "Love is not easily provoked."  And despite what we may have been told, the Holy Spirit is not easily wounded or offended.  Our God's heart remains supple and open without the fragile neurosis that plagues most of us.  We need him to be strong like that.

This book will help you get that heavy pack of religious assumptions and misunderstandings off your back, because you were never meant to carry that.

Here's a link to Darin Hufford's website.

Staying with the message of the new heart

Quite frankly, it's difficult to believe I have a good heart sometimes. The evidence against it seems too strong.

Lately, there's been almost an unseen pull downwards, a drain-circling suck towards hopeless futility.  That dark undertow almost got me to draw some fatal conclusions about my own heart.  That pull is towards shame:

I've blown it with my kids a lot lately;  not given myself to my wife as she needs.  I'm actually craving the goodness of Jesus and his choices, begging him to give me his own maturity.  (If you think holiness is hard, try out your favorite addiction or uncontrolled craving for a while.  That's harder to live with.)

In these moments, we have two choices:  fatalism or freedom:

• Fatalism says:  I am the sum of my failures.  My heart cannot be good -- just look at the evidence against it.
• Freedom says:  My heart is my hope.  I am a new creation (my heart is now supernaturally restored by Christ.)  Despite the external evidence, there is a new internal reality.  My failures are no longer the truest me.  (Even the apostle Paul says this - Romans 7:20)

• You can't go by your failures.
• You can't go by what others think of you.
  
  
• You may not even be able to go by what you've been told by church leaders in the past.

Stay with the truth:  your heart is good now.  Jesus made it so.
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To understand your new heart more, Recover Your Good Heart -- Living free from religious guilt and the shame of not good-enough unpacks what Scripture says about your new heart.

Or you can start with the FREE e-book I wrote:  click here.

A better way to read the Old Testament - without shame

For decades, the manner in which I read the Old Testament only furthered my shame.
 
I had forgotten to make the critical shift from the Old Way to the New Way--  the old heart to the new heart.  For example, if you read an Old Testament passage like the one below, and forget that something has changed inside you as a result of Christ's work, what would you feel?

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."  - Psalm 51:10

My reaction would be:  "Wow, maybe I should be feeling what David is here; I guess I'm supposed to be confessing my sin, examining my selfish heart and repenting about something.  It sounds pretty spiritual and pretty important.  What, exactly, am I supposed to be feeling bad about?  I'm not sure, but I'd better get to work on this repenting thing and ask God to fix my heart."

The problem with that sort of reaction is that it is out of date.  It is an Old Covenant response to a problem that was solved for you in the New Covenant.  Meaning....David's cry for a clean heart has already been answered in the work on Jesus for you.  You've been given a new and pure heart already because you said 'yes' to him.  (Ezekiel 36:26 -- "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you...") 

As we read the Old Covenant, we must now read it from a new heart perspective (you now have a clean heart that does want what God wants).  We make the shift from guilt and shame...to restoration and freedom of heart.

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For more on this, my book Recover Your Good Heart goes into more detail on what Scripture says about our new hearts.