Emotionally-healthy Christianity

How is it possible that a person attempting to live from their new heart can remain profoundly stuck? Why is it that even the most disciplined and faithful Christians fear conflict, live from false scripts they've inherited, and suffer just as many relational casualties as non-Christians?  What's missing?

One of the biggest barriers to living a free-hearted life - even if you believe that your heart is now good and noble - is unhealed emotional wounding.  It is entirely possible to be a New Covenant christian, yet discover areas of your life largely untouched by the transforming power of a new, Christ-indwelled heart.  Becoming a grace-filled Christian does not guarantee emotional freedom and relational success.


The mercy of pain
It may take relational pain to alert us to the emotional barriers blocking our new heart:  Author Pete Scazzero laments, "Yet now the pain was forcing me to face how superficially Jesus had penetrated my inner person, even though I had been a Christian for twenty years...whole layers of my emotional life had lain buried, untouched by God's transforming power."  As disruptive as pain can be, it is [albeit an unwelcomed] mercy.

Becoming more spiritually disciplined will not help. If it could, the most disciplined among us would be the most healthy; and that hasn't proven true in many cases.  Some of the most committed and spiritually disciplined people remain unable to relate well or worse, are completely unaware of their emotional and relational impediments.

"Sanctification" has left some of our deepest needs unhealed.
What if "sanctification" includes the healing of emotional wounds?  Is it even possible to be spiritually healthy apart from emotional health?  Honest experience tells us, "no."  Healthy spiritually requires emotional health - not perfection - but a committment to emotional healing. 

We know God by knowing ourselves, including our wounds and how they drive our relationships.  Though it is also true that we know ourselves by knowing God, it is imperative that wound-care be pursued,  leading us deeper into God's love, not farther from it.  Augustine wrote, "How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?" 

Perhaps the "easy yoke" of Christ has eluded us because we haven't brought our whole selves, including our darkest fears and incessant wounds, under the kind affection of Jesus.

Where do I start?

• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero
• How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen, by Sharon May, PhD
• Unlocking Your Family Patterns, by Cloud, Townsend, Carder, Henslin

Note:  God can heal in a variety of ways.  Counseling is only one means. Healing prayer, intercessory prayer, and body-mind methodologies can all be helpful when brought under the discernment and authoriy of Jesus.  And in no way am I suggesting the Church outsource all healing to professional counselors.  As Larry Crabb suggested in his ground-breaking book, "Connecting," powerful connection can happen between two non-professional people living under New Covenant assumptions. 

Why didn't God just start with grace?

Why didn't God just start with grace?   Why put His people through the Old Covenant Law with it's painfully exhaustive list of "do's and don't's?"  Why not go right to the good stuff?

Because the Law had a temporary, but genuinely merciful purpose. 

"WARNING, ACTIVE GRIZZLY AREA. STAY AWAY."

Our tour group was pulling over at a rest stop in Denali National Park, Alaska.   As we were getting out, our tour guide immediately cautioned that we were in active Grizzly habitat.  There was a sign about 300 feet away that read, "Warning, actively grizzly area.  Stay away."

If we had chosen to ignore the posted warning sign and gotten between a Grizzly sow and her cubs, the surgeon's needle sowing our scalps back on would have served as a painful reminder just how foolish it would have been to ignore the clear and present danger. Ignorance hurts.  Foolishness hurts even more.

Similarly, our medication bottles often come with a warning label saying, "Do not exceed recommended dosage."  The label itself cautions that there is something at risk: You.  But, "If one pill makes me feel good then five pills would make me feel great!"  Maybe so, but the intense vomiting or drug-induced coma that follows will be a painful reminder that sin hurts. 

The law was a temporary form of grace.  The Old Covenant couldn't offer a cure for foolishness and the even greater pain of trying harder not to be so, but it mercifully made clear the painfulness of chosing against life.  Against health.  Against wholeness. 

We'd beg God to free us from chronic arguments with our spouse, the addiction to emotional eating, the pull of porn that won't let us go.  Sin hurts.  Ignoring the warning signs hurts.  And when it hurts that badly, you want help:  When you spin your wheels long enough, you want to stop the madness.

 

SO THE LAW CREATED A CRAVING FOR GRACE.

"As long as an intense longing for deliverance from sinning has not been wrought, they will naturally fall back into the power of the law and the flesh.  The holiness which the New Covenant offers will rather terrify than attract them..."  - Andrew Murray

Ask any addict or person who has tried harder to be a better person:  Grace is far more attractive to the powerless than it is to the prideful.  The Old Covenant Law's painful exposure mercifully ushered in a craving for authentic goodness, a desire to get out from underneath sin's manure pile.  Sin hurts.  Goodness restores us.  We'd beg God to free us from something that had a hold over us.

Law created a craving for grace. 

Un-bridled Freedom

Grace is even better than, "God's not mad at you anymore."  It's also better than "unmerited favor," or "unconditional acceptance."

WHY is grace UNBRIDLED FREEDOM?

In order to control a horse, the headgear that the reins are attached to includes the bridle that fits over his face, and a metal bit that goes into the tender part of a horse's mouth. Those who don't yet know how to intuitively move with a horse often jerk the horse's reins, causing the metal bit to bite into the horse's mouth.  This bit-and-bridle method uses discomfort and force in order to get the horse to comply.

Under grace, the "bridle" [Old Covenant Rules] and "mouth bit" [painful pressure] are taken off -  removed from the Christian, because the Spirit has given us new hearts that are no longer "prone to wander."

We no longer need bit and bridle to get us to move in the right direction.  The horse [we] can move intuitively with the rider [the Spirit].

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My book, Recover Your Good Heart, exposes the 'gospel' of pressure - getting jerked around by messages that claim you're a "new creation" but treat you like you're an unruly horse that needs to be "broken."

BUY ON AMAZON HERE.

Are you fighting the wrong thing?

Click to listen.

PODCAST:  "ARE YOU FIGHTING THE WRONG THING?"

A friend of author Wayne Jacobsen once drew a cartoon where Jesus opened his arms to the masses and said, "Come to me all you who are heavy-burdened and I will give you an accountability group." 

The "Christianity" many of us were invited into declares that the battle we face is against the heart, not for it. Why?  Because the underlying assumption of a false gospel is that the "heart is deceitfully wicked," even after you've been made a new creation in Christ.  We warn each other about the alleged dangers of following our hearts:  "Don't trust your heart, it will lead you astray.  You have a wandering heart, a divided heart.  Reject the desires of the heart.  If it's what you want, it probably isn't what God wants." 

Certainly discernment must accompany desire:  You need to know if a desire is coming from your heart -- and is therefore a noble desire -- or if it's coming from another source.  Or it may be that your heart may need mentoring before you rush headlong into something good but untimely.  But this is not to say that the Christian's heart is still "deceitfully wicked."

Scripture says, "I will give you a new heart."  This is the gift Jesus gave you when you said 'yes' to him. Paul even says, "In my inner being, I delight in God's commands..."  [How can he delight in God's commands if his heart, his inmost being, is rebelliously set against God?]  He wouldn't be able to delight in God's commands if that was the case.]

When you said 'yes' to Jesus, he gave you his own noble-hearted nature.  The irony is, the brand of misguided Christianity that pins the heart to the wall  -- so that it doesn't go astray -- actually produces Christians who go to war against the most holy and noble place within them!  These mislead souls end up mistrusting their best self! The Christian has then set herself against the very residence of goodness and wholeness God set within her.  We quote, "May Christ dwell in your heart through faith" then attack the very heart where Jesus dwells within. So not only are we at war with our best selves, we're at war with God's work; because we've shackled and shut-down the heart of his work, literally.  The core of God's work in any man or woman begins by replacing a ruined heart with a royal heart, and we've rejected our own crown.

This false gospel creates a house-divided by...

• Guarding against the heart rather than guarding the heart, the wellspring of life within you.
• Holding the heart hostage rather than healing the heart's wounds.
• Locking the heart away rather than loosing the heart from false suspicion.

Don't fight the wrong thing.  Fight the Enemy of your heart, the Accuser, but don't wage war against God's throneroom he has set within you.  In Christ, your heart becomes your ally, not your enemy.

Grace has never been about making a bad heart better.

How far would you go so save your son or daughter's life?

John Quincy Archibald's [John Q] son collapses unexpectedly while running the bases in a Little League game.  The diagnosis is a bloated, diseased heart.  Doctor's inform John Q and his wife that unless his son gets a heart-transplant, he will die.  He won't see his next birthday.

But John Q's health insurance will not cover the boy's heart transplant.  It will cost $250,000 to put the boy on the donor list.  John can't raise that kind of money no matter how hard he tries.  So his dying boy is dropped from the donor list.  There will be no rescue, no future for the boy.  His enlarged heart will kill him in days.

So what does a father do whose son will die because his heart can no longer give him life?  John Q makes a staggering decision...To take his own life, so that his son can have his healthy heart.  Transplant by suicide.  Life begets life:  If the father dies, the boy lives.

"Heart of my own heart."

Grace has never been about God trying to make a bad heart better.  That was never an option. Your old heart was failing to give you life, and reconditioning it was never God's plan for rescue.  Replacement, not refurbishment.   We needed to start over.

There is an untapped vein of gold lying beneath the surface mess.  You were gifted with a new kind of heart that no longer needs an addiction.  The kind of heart that trusts when there is no comfort.  The kind of radiance that doesn't fear the blamers and the shamers.

Grace has never been about making a bad heart better:  It's always been about God replacing your heart with his heart.  And God has already done this for you.  In you.  The day you said, "Yes," to Jesus was the day you got your transplant.

There's one prayer the warrior-poet, David, prayed that you don't need to:  "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."    David's future hope was your present reality.

You are a donor recipient.  Trust the life within you.

Our root problem: unreleased goodness

The guy confessing an embarrassing porn problem was sitting at the end of the table.  A big, burly guy, close to tears.  His sordid lust occupied every waking minute of his day: Its trap had sprung, and its iron teeth had shut fast around his heart.   The man was a faithful church attender, a solid family man, and took the Bible seriously.  But none of it was setting him free from his addiction.

I was on the other side of the table because I was leading the group of men through the Study Guide for my book, "Recover Your Good Heart."  Nothing I or the other men said could convince this good man that he was a good man.  His addiction had hijajcked his identity.

What is this Christian man's root problem?

An undisciplined will? Is he not spending enough time in prayer? Is he not busy enough with Christian service?  Is his core problem a wayward nature; a wandering heart? Or should we send him to a counselor to help him manage his addiction?  Should he explore any unresolved family history issues?

What if this addicted man's root problem doesn' t reflect any of those typical assessments?  What if his root problem is not ultimately resolved through either Christian discipline or therapy?

Unreleased goodness

Author of the book, Connecting, Larry Crabb asks the following question:  "What if the root problem in a Christian's life, beneath all the personal, emotional, and spiritual struggles, is unreleased goodness?"

1.  Not psychological disorder

2.  Not emotional baggage from dysfunctional backgrounds and buried traumatic memories

3.  Not irresponsible living [1]

It can often be helpful to gently confront sinful behavior; or to seek counseling or therapy; but often this misdiagnoses the root problem.  We don't always need more help with repentance, or analyzing our past; though healing can begin there.  We need a small community of a few who have a vision of the goodness beneath our mess - a God-given goodness that is stronger than the mess -  with noble appetities that are longing for nourishment and release.  This is what the Spirit is up to.  That's His invitation.

Our root problem as Christians is unreleased goodness; and we need others around us who have a vision of our [and their own] God-bestowed goodness.

[1] Larry Crabb, Connecting; p. 72

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Further resources:  My book, Recover Your Good Heart, exposes the myth that the Christian is still "prone to wander," and gives the reader a new vision of an astonishing and practical goodness they already have.  A goodness awaiting release.

The fear of becoming a spiritual defector

The guy in the audience was pretty rude about it:  He stopped me in the middle of a seminar I was leading on the Good and Noble Heart and said, "I think you've badly misunderstood the Gospel, sir."  His interjection was not simply an attempt to engage me in a meaningful dialogue.  It was an indictment.  And it nearly derailed the seminar for the other participants. As soon as the event was over, he brushed by me with a scowl that said plenty.

Convictions are like armor: well-plated, protective, and hopefully durable. People don't give up their convictions easily.  Nor should they. But you no longer need that armor if Someone stronger is standing between you and your fear. 

Why is it so difficult for many people to embrace the message that their heart is no longer "prone to wander: that while they can sin, their most true and authentic self no longer wants to?  Why so staunchly deny that Jesus is more interested in freeing their good and noble heart than in pressuring them to be better?

Here's the reason:  People are strongly motivated to avoid fear.  If they leave behind the 'gospel' of pressure, at best they'll no longer have a checklist to follow that legitimizes their attempt to feel they've done enough; and worse, they fear betraying the pastors who have spiritual authority over them.  Nor would they want the exposure of swimming upstream while their church friends are swimming downstream; exposing themselves as a spiritual defector, standing outside the group.

But worst of all, they dread betraying God Himself.  And nothing tears at the soul like the belief that you've betrayed "the one who died and gave up his life for you."

A pointy finger warns the questioner, Don't ever betray your spiritual shepherds; and never question God.  At the very least, a rebuke will await you; at the worst, Hell will swallow you whole.

Not many are willing to pull the pin on the grenade.  The reluctant man has already had too much blow up in his face.  But ignorance is not bliss, it's ignorance; and God welcomes a hearty, even heated, discussion; even if it means you have to question the life raft you've been floating in since you were 12.  Sometimes you have to leave the life raft so that the Captain can pull you up into the security of his Coastguard Cutter. 

Bottom line:  Is it worth it to you to risk exposure as a spiritual defector, in order to find out that what you've believed about your heart has been sabotaging it all these years? 

*My book, Recover Your Good Heart, carefully examines the biblical argument for the good and noble heart, which a Christian receives immediately when they come to Christ.  I also demonstrate that this is not a new teaching, showing the reader there's good reason to take it seriously.

What does powerful connecting look like?

Powerful connecting rarely happens in the Church, or anywhere, for that matter.  Why do we often feel impotent when faced with the deep pain of another?  Should we advise, refer them to counseling, try to listen more attentively? 

What would you say to the following man who is courageous enough to share his anguish with you?

"This was a time of extreme anguish, during which I wondered whether I would be able to hold on to my own life.  Everything came crashing down -- my self-esteem, my energy to love and work, my sense of being loved, my hope for healing, my trust in God...All had become darkness.  Within me there was one long scream coming from a place I didn't know existed, a place full of demons." [1]

Would you simply try to listen to the man?  Assure him of God's loving presence?  Refer him to counseling? Suggest that God is trying to teach him perseverence?  Expose his insecurities and hang-ups, his false beliefs?

The suffering man in our story, by the way, was Henri Nouwen; a spiritual giant to many who had authored 39 books by the time of his death in 1996.

Failure to connect
Larry Crabb, author of the groundbreaking book, Connecting, says that one reason we fail to connect powerfully with others in a way that could actually heal them is because we often operate with a "Therapeutic Model."  Crabb calls this the "Treatment/Repair" Model, where we attempt to fix what's wrong in the other. In this model,

"The first step, of course, is to figure out what is wrong [diagnosis] and face it, then courageously work through the often long and painful process of coming to grips with the internal damage and learning to approach life in healthier ways [therapy]."

In order to fix what's wrong, we uncover the underlying psychological forces influencing their behavior.  We analyze the hurting person's past, look into underlying patterns and suggest coping mechanisms and re-framing approaches to insure a healthier outcome for them.  The people that offer the most insight become the person's heroes.   Counseling often buys into this model; and though it can often provide insight and suggest more healthy, adaptive behaviors, it may not actually heal the person. Insight may not translate into healing.

Under this find what's damaged--fix what's wrong model, we might recommend that Henri Nouwen see a counselor in order to get at underlying damage, expose faulty belief systems, and recommend treatment for depression. We might even send him Scripture verses to encourage him so that he can believe there's a light at the end of his dark tunnel.  But this model may yield little healing fruit. Crabb points out that, "Our power to influence lives does not come...from revealing to people the details of their internal mess."

What does powerful connecting look like?
Crabb rightly suggests that God does not often use a Therapeutic Model [Find and Fix What's Wrong] in order to heal us.  Rather, God does three things:

1.  "First, he provides a taste of Christ delighting in us -- the essence of connection; accepting who we are and envisioning who we could be."

2.  "Second, he diligently searches within us for the good he has put there -- an affirming exposure; remaining calm when badness is visible, keeping confidence that goodness lies beneath."

3.  "Third, he engagingly exposes what is bad and painful -- a disruptive exposure;" in order to uncover the goodness beneath the mess - "a goodness that is more defining of who we are than our badness...When we look at the bad, we must always be looking harder for the hidden good."    [#3 should happen less as we use the approaches of #1 and #2.]  Crabb adds, "A careful exploration of the redeemed heart does not sink us in a cesspool; it's more like mining for gold in a dirty cave." 

We are not primarily damaged people:  We are foremost saints, gifted with new-hearted vitality and power; a vitality that may be buried beneath a mess, but not subverted by it.

Did help come for Henri Nouwen?
So did Henri Nouwen find any who could help him?  Yes, from an elderly priest who understood how to powerfully connect with him:

"During the most difficult period of my life, when I experienced great anguish and despair, he was there.  Many times, he pulled my head to his chest and prayed for me without words but with a Spirit-filled silence that dispelled my demons of despair and made me rise up from his embrace with new vitality." [2]

Something powerful was poured out from the elderly priest into the broken-hearted younger man; arousing something buried, but alive and strong in Henri.  That power was the quickening life of Christ Himself.

We connect well with others when we...

• give them a taste of God's delighting in them,


• relentlessly search for the God-given good urges beneath their pain and mess,


• refuse our impulses to fix what's wrong; and instead, take our cues from Jesus, asking, "How can I join You as You release what is most alive in me, pouring that Life into them, in order to release what is most alive in them?"

 [1]  The Inner Voice of Love:  A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, Henri Nouwen

[2]  Our Greatest Gift, Henri Nouwen

All other quotations from Connecting, by Larry Crabb.

The Cure for Shame

Shame will be our default position and the virus in every relationship -  unless it is healed. Shame says, "You are flawed to the marrow, have nothing significant to offer,  hopelessly addicted,  and inherently prone to blow it.   The good in you can never outweigh the bad in you.  You will never be enough."

A shame-consciousness will be the Achille's Heal for every leader, organization, and every family and parent-child relationship, unless we find the cure.  And there is a cure.

But when we look to the pulpit or Public Television or TED pundits for a cure for shame, it often sounds like one the the following, often reasonable-sounding antidotes:

Acceptance as an antidote to shame:

"I am loved, despite..."

"I am accepted."

Self-confidence as an antidote to shame:

"Practice positive self-talk."

"Believe you are worthy."

Forgiveness as an antidote to shame:

"I am forgiven."

"God's grace is greater than my sin."

Discipline as an antidote for shame:

"Step up your prayer life and spiritual disciplines."

"Try harder not to miss group meetings."

Release from guilt as an antidote to shame:

"It's not your fault."

Positive thinking or better self-talk can't handle this.
Yet, as helpful and often true as most of the above antidotes can be, none of these solutions is sufficient to heal the root of shame.  Most Christians think that one or more of those antidotes I listed above will do the trick; yet it often feels like we're up against something much bigger than positive thinking or healthy self-talk can handle. 

Our best efforts to fend off our critics [whether external or internal] often feel a bit like the leather-tough cowboy who pretends the bullet lodged in his gut doesn't hurt; or the female CEO who tries to casually shake off the brutal criticisms lobbed at her by the Board, while she privately sheds angry tears in the bathroom stall. 

We're tired of pretending we're o.k., and though we are reluctant to admit it, pretending only temporarily shoves away the pecking buzzards, knowing the scavengers will always return until the kill is devoured.    Pretending we're o.k. doesn't actually heal us.

The cure for shame
The best question to ask is, "What does Jesus think the cure for shame is?"  Does Jesus have a way to heal the root system of shame within the human personality, rather than asking us to coax ourselves into positive self-talk or try to act bravely in the face of our critics? 

In Jesus' own words, the cure he offers is this: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you." [Ezekiel 36:26]  His answer is as astoundingly simple as it is unique.  The heart is the root system for a person's relational health.  Jesus restores the root system in order to restore the person.    The moment you enter friendship with Jesus, the diseased root system is removed:  The heart that has driven you into a shame-mindset your whole life is taken away.  In its place is emplanted a remarkable, noble and radiant heart - a new root system.  Everything you hoped you could be is embedded in that new heart you've been given, waiting to be affirmed and released.

What Jesus might say to set us free: 

Jesus might say,

"Let's be truly authentic here, no pretending.  There's no need for that.  You're safe with Me.  No mustering up a sense of worthiness that shields you from the critics;  instead, let's take self-defense off the table forever. 

When the Devil comes to Me and tries to accuse and slander you to My face, I point him to your new and noble heart.  It infuriates the Enemy because self-defense is the only thing he has to teach you.

Your new-hearted nobility is a gift from me, and no one feels compelled to defend something they know is a gift:   If you didn't create it, you're not responsible for defending it, right?  I defend you so that you don't have to.  Your new heart is how I defend you against your critics."

LEARN MORE:
To learn more about recovering your good and noble heart, you can check out Jim's book, Recover Your Good Heart - Living free from religious guilt and the shame of never good-enough.

Audio Interview: "Why the Christian life isn't impossible."

Most of us live with a cruel distortion of the Gospel:  The distortion sounds like this, "There but for the grace of God go I."    The hope of the Gospel is not, "Jesus, You're going to have to pull off the Christian life for me because I'm too much of a mess."  Rather, the hope of the New Covenant is, "Jesus, by your Spirit release the new appetites and cravings you've already deposited within my new nature."  The Christian life is no longer impossible.

Podcast interview:  Loren Rosser, who works in the television industry in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area,  is a great friend who is one of the few interviewers who understands the good and noble heart.  This is part one of a two-part interview. 

In this interview, Loren Rosser interviews Jim [Part One]:

1. What's the difference between a Christian who sins v.s.  a person who has a sin-nature?


2. Why ignoring our heart's desires means we could be missing our calling.


3. Why secular answers to shame lead to pretending, while the Gospel heals the root of shame.


4. How can you tell when you're still living under "Old Covenant" shame?

The Giant strides within.

"What we need is not so much personal development, as personal replacement:  What we need is not so much personal development, but personal substitution."  - Dwight Edwards

The invitation of the Gospel is, "Let Me carry you." 
The relief of the Gospel is, "Will you let Me?"

What I don't mean:
By "personal development," I do not mean something like the mastery of a sport or an instrument. [Though it's never a solo performance - It's always a duet.]  

Rather, I mean the addiction that humans have to mastering their own character,  keeping the commandments, constraining their sin, and living like Christ without the supernatural resources only God can give.  It's the attempt to live under natural power when only super-natural power will suffice.  Personal development is the attempt to live under a manufactured righteouness rather than a borrowed righteousness.

Continue the way you began:
We needed someone to take our place, not only on the Cross; but even still -  On Monday at 3 p.m. when our boss has called us in for employee evaluations; or when we've blown it with our spouse and our spouse was right; or when our valiant effort to resist our addictions has left us deeper in the hole.

A life driven by personal development sounds like this:

I will be disciplined enough.

I will manage your impression of me.

I will try harder.

I will trust enough.

The tender Giant:
By contrast, a life depending upon a personal, indwelling Substitute looks like this:

The experience of God breaking into human life is the experience of an invasion from beyond of Another; who in gentle power breaks in upon our littleness, and in tender expansiveness makes room for Himself. 

Had we thought Him an intruder, no.  God's first odor is sweetness; God's touch, an imparting of power.  Suddenly, a tender Giant walks by our side ... no... strides within our puny footsteps.  We are no longer our little selves.  - Thomas Kelly

Substitionary Sanctification
The Christian believes in substitutionary sanctification, not simply substitutionary justification.  In other words, what began as grace continues as grace, because true discipleship is about allowing Jesus to trigger and release our new nature, not about our white-knuckled efforts to live up to our best intentions.

What's the fruit?
The fruit of personal development [avoiding supernatural resources] is shame.  The fruit of personal subtitution is restoration. 

We are no longer our little selves:  The Giant strides within our puny footsteps.

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Further digging:

• Audio - "The Saving Life of Christ," [Dwight Edwards]
• Podcast - Revolution Within-part one.  Revolution Within-part two.  [Jim Robbins and Dwight Edwards]

How we accuse our hearts of all kinds of things...

Too often, when we talk about "the heart," we tend to view the heart as our entire internal world; that is, anything and everything that's going on inside of us - whether good, bad or ugly.  This catch-all, kitchen sink view of the heart has led us in some really unhelpful directions. 

Notice how we often frame what's going on inside of us:

1. "I had to really examine the motives of my heart."


2. "My stubbornness means that I have a 'divided heart.'"


3. "You haven't given your whole heart to God."

In each of these instances, the accusation is clear:  Your heart will mislead you.  It is not to be trusted.

This simply isn't true. Your new and noble heart isn't capable of deceiving you or leading you astray.  Let's look at each claim:

1.  "I had to really examine the motives of my heart." 
Yes, you may have poor motives in this or that situation, but those corrupt motives are not originating from your new heart:  They emanate from your flesh - the old programming left over by your old self, or the "old man."  That old self is no longer here; but it's imprint was left behind.  That is where your faulty motives lie.

Another source of bad motives comes from the virus that lives in your body:  sin.  Notice that I didn't say your "sin nature."  Why?  Because you no longer have a sin-nature.  After your sin-nature was removed at conversion, there remained a sin virus that can leave collateral damage in its wake, but it cannot become you; and it isn't you; just as you might have the flu, but are not the virus itself.

A third source of bad motives comes from the Enemy of our hearts.  The foul beings will quietly come up beside you and whisper in your ear all manner of wicked things, and pin those thoughts on you!

2.  "My stubbornness means that I have a 'divided heart.'" 
No.  You don't have a divided heart.  Your new spirit [heart/will] may be in conflict with your flesh, but your heart [true nature] itself is united with Christ and inseparable from his nature.  There is no separation between your heart and his: One cannot be distinguished from the other.  As Luther declared, “You are so entirely joined unto Christ, that He and you are made as it were one person; so that you may boldly say, ‘I am one with Christ,’ that is to say, Christ’s righteousness, victory, and life are mine.”  Because his heart cannot be divided, yours cannot be divided.

3.  "You haven't given your whole heart to God." 
False.  It was never about giving your heart to God.  [Surprised?] Jesus wasn't asking you to offer him your old heart:  He was asking you to receive!   The heart you used to have wouldn't have done you or Him much good.  It was beyond repair and needed to be replaced.  Not fixed; but replaced.  "Getting saved" wasn't about offering a ruined and wayward heart to God, hoping that he'd fix it one day:  Rather, it was about receiving a new-hearted nature from God.  It has always been first about receiving.  He doesn't require anything from you that he hasn't already deposited within you. [1]

Try this:  For three days, write down some of your own internal dialogue about your heart and its motives.  What are you accusing your heart of?  What's the real source of those undesirable thoughts or motives?  Then apologize to your heart:  There's no shame in this:  After all, its no longer in your heart to accuse your heart anyway. 

[1] Dwight Edwards, Revolution Within

Update on Wednesday, August 14, 2013 at 4:33PM by Jim Robbins

Here's another often-heard statement that denies our new-hearted identity:  "God had to soften my heart so that ______________."  

While God may need to bring about change, He is not interested in fixing your heart:  Rather, your heart is your ally now, not your enemy.  Your wandering heart was replaced during Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection with a pure and noble heart.

Your flesh, even 'sin in the flesh,' might trip you up; but your heart [your new and radiant nature] doesn't need fixing or cleansing.

Why the "Correct their stinking thinking" model doesn't always help.

Most Christians have been given the Corrective Thinking Model of helping:  "This friend isn't able to heal because they've got 'stinking thinking' that's preventing it.  They're not able to receive the healing because they are holding stubbornly to misguided, destructive, even faithless thoughts." 

While on the one hand, this may be true in some cases, it often isn't helpful to tell the person that they're believing and thinking wrongly, and it may not reveal the true problem.   I've discovered when using the Corrective Thinking Model that it only proves mildly helpful because it often can't bring about the recovery needed: Besides the person may already be well-aware of their destructive thought patterns, yet feel helpless to overcome them.

The Corrective Thinking Model [Just Fix What's Wrong With Their Bad Thinking] is rooted in an Analysis Model that assumes:  "If we can diagnose the why, then we've healed the what."  This model assumes that analysis equals healing.  It does not:  Just like determining why you broke your leg during a skiing accident doesn't, in and of itself, heal the bones.  Answering the "why" only gives you revelation not restoration.

Agnes Sanford, in her classic on prayer, The Healing Light, describes the hazards of the "Correct their bad thinking" model:

"You mustn't think that way!"  cries the would-be helper.  "You'll never get well when you think that way!  My dear, let me tell you ..."   And [the helper] proceeds to hold forth upon her own line, to hand over her own ready-made cure-all.  ...

Sometimes it happens to fit the need of the sufferer, and sometimes it does not.  And the one who longs to help mourns that the patient has no spiritual understanding. 

Sanford offers this counsel to would-be friends and helpers: 

The sick mind does not respond to reason.

[Notice what Sanford indicates:  In our frustration as helpers, we often blame the patient for a lack of spiritual understanding, rather than questioning the approach used.]

A better model:

We often jump in with the Corrective Thinking Model because we sincerely want to help, and it's the only model we've been given.  A more helpful question than, "How do I correct this person's poor thinking and bad beliefs about themselves or God," might be,

"Jesus, you got here before I did.  What are you up to?  Before I got here, you were already initiating my friend's restoration.  Help me understand what you're doing as you love my friend.  How can I join you?"  

There's no shame in this: We're simply being invited to learn from Jesus, who is a gracious teacher. 

Recommended resources:

• The Healing Light, by Agnes Sanford
• The Four Streams, audio series by John EldredgeN

Note:  This is an issue I've addressed in the past in other places, especially in a two-part podcast with author Dwight Edwards ["Revolution Within"]:

1. Podcast:  "Revolution Within," Part One
2. Podcast:  "Revolution Within,"  Part Two

Video: How Preaching Has Failed Us

Most preaching and Christian teaching today leads us to expect to sin.  Jim contrasts this typical understanding of preaching with a New Covenant/New Heart approach that views preaching as a means of affirming and releasing [with the help of the Spirit] the new-hearted desires, appetites, and tendencies that now reside in the Christian's heart. 

New Covenant preaching expects that there is a new-hearted goodness that is awaiting nourishment and release [through community and the Spirit] - a goodness that will grow stronger than any fleshly appetites.

View E-book:  "No Longer Prone to Wander"

Update on Friday, January 18, 2013 at 4:46PM by Jim Robbins

BETTER QUESTIONS FOR RELATING TO ONE ANOTHER:

The Church needs to replace the question, "How can I hold this person 'accountable'" with

"Father, how can I celebrate the new goodness you've placed in his/her heart [at conversion], and look for its evidence?"

 Another helpful question Christians can ask of each other:

"What is it that's more noble in this person than the surface behavior I see? More noble than the fear? More noble than the brokenness? More noble than the self-protective posture?

Lesson from The Horse Whisperer: You don't "break a horse."

The Horse Whisperer
"Buck," the  documentary, is about the man behind the legendary cowboy in "The Horse Whisperer."  His name is Buck Brannaman.

You don't 'break' a horse:

You don't break a horse.  You don't force them into compliance.  You don't enforce your will upon them by violating their will.  Neither do you do this to a person.  Another term for "breaking a person" is compliance:

Compliance breeds fear, and uses intimidation to its advantage: 
"Do this or we will threaten you with 'consequences' until you meet our expectations."




Compliance is impatient: 
"Do this now:  We're more interested in outcomes than in hearts."




Compliance violates the will of the other: 
"I have the right [and power] to bend you to my will.  What you want isn't important."

You don't break a child.

Neither do you "break" a child; and this doesn't always imply a physical domination over a child.  Yet common parenting techniques that enforce "consequences" and varieties of disciplinary punishment; as well as "classroom management" techniques that get kids to shut up and be quiet "break the child" to gain compliance over their will. 

I once observed a substitute teacher scream across a cafeteria at a young girl for dropping food on the floor.  The adult's voice shattered the din and the room went silent.  The young girl shook with fear.  Tears streamed down her cheeks for the next 10 minutes.  He broke her.

The children, our spouses, or whomever we jerk around with bit and bridle, are the mirror to our souls.

"In this particular discipline, you have to be a sensitive person.  That vulnerability makes you great."  - from Buck, the film

Podcast: Part 2- "Revolution Within" - Jim interviews best-selling author Dwight Edwards

PODCAST:  "REVOLUTION WITHIN" -  Part 2, with guest author Dwight Edwards

As Dwight Edwards suggested in Part One of our podcast, the un-pressured Christian life is about releasing the good God has placed within us rather than trying to get something fixed.

Then what are the new resources of powerful goodness awaiting release within our new Christ-given nature?

In Part Two of our converstion, Dwight and I talk about four resources of our new -hearted nature:

A new purity

A new identity

A new disposition

A new power

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Podcast:  "REVOLUTION WITHIN" -Part 2-  Jim interviews best-selling author, Dwight Edwards, about his book, "Revolution Within."  [Part 2]

[For Dwight's books and resources, go to his website:  Kindling for the Fire.]

*Listen to Part One here, if you missed it.

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LISTEN ON iTunes

New Podcast: "Revolution Within" Part One -Jim interviews best-selling author Dwight Edwards

This is Part One of my interview with special guest, Dwight Edwards, author or Revolution Within.  Dwight is lead pastor at Water’s Edge Church in Houston.  He also publishes a regular update called, "Kindling for the Fire." 

Dwight has also served as a friend and advisor to Larry Crabb.

Dwight's work was foundational to my understanding of our good and noble heart.  It's a message largely missing in modern Christianity; but one that God is restoring in order to see his friends released from the tyranny of "never enough."

"That’s why the great issue in Christian living is not how to get ourselves fixed but how to get our new nature released."  
- Revolution Within

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Podcast:  Jim Robbins interviews Dwight Edwards about his book, "Revolution Within." 

*This is Part One of our interview.   "It's not about fixing, but releasing the good."  

[Note:  There are a few pops and clicks here and there.  We didn't hear them 'live,' yet they somehow found their way into the recording.  I think the message will come through loud and clear anyway.] 

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LISTEN ON iTunes

"I'm not enough to make you happy."

Our fundamental problem as humans is shame.  That's what cripples us. And shame's message to us is: 

"I'm not enough to make you happy, or prevent you from being disappointed with me." 

Here are two common misunderstandings:

1. Feeling forgiven, in and of itself, won't heal shame.  It's a wonderful thing to no longer have your sin held against you.  But forgiveness alone won't help you conquer that addiction that's lasted for years; or heal the anger that rushes in every time your children interrupt your work with silly questions.  Or the fear that no one will ever come for you because you're not worth the time.


2. Telling yourself that you are "worthy", while believing that your heart is still a shameful mess, won't heal you.  It's like trying to believe it will be a sunny day as you notice the rain clouds gather in the distance.  It does you no good to try and convince yourself of something you don't believe is really true.  You can't believe you are worthy and acceptable while holding that your heart is "prone to wander."  There's too much dissonance between what you're trying to believe and what you really believe about your true self.

Then what will heal our shame; and dispel the lie that "I'm not enough to please God or anyone else?"

Answer:  Discovering that you have been given a good and noble heart by Christ when you said 'yes' to him;   then doing the hard work of trusting that new heart when shame hits you out of nowhere:

• When you get rejected three times for three different job positions.


• When your husband fails to see your heart and seems too disengaged to care.


• When you feel sidelined by God, shelved - while others seem "successful"  in their calling.

Bottom line:  God has removed the nagging fear that we are worthy or acceptable by making us so.  He did that by changing our core tendencies and desires.    The fact that you possess a new heart means you are always pleasing to him.  Yes, you may and can still sin.  But the sin is no longer you.  Sin is no longer at the core of your identity: it's is no longer in your heart.

God looks at your noble heart and knows you are genuinely good and pleasing to him.  You are enough to make him happy.  Exceedingly happy. 

 

Why giving children [or anyone else] "consequences" doesn't work.

Mother to young son: 

"If you don't pick up your toys, you'll lose a privelege.  I warned you that there would be consequences."

Translate: 

"If you don't meet my expectations, pain will follow:  I will either remove something from you, or do something to you." 

Most of us were brought up under a compliance model:  "Just get kids to behave.  Give them 'consequences' if they don't meet your expectations."

Natural consequences:
Yes, there are natural outcomes to our choices:  Relationships don't do well where there isn't mutual respect, including from child to parent.  However, the carrot and stick [reward and punishment] model doesn't work.  [Note:  rewarding a child, in order to get good behavior, has also shown to short-change genuine transformation in the long-run.]  In fact, research indicates that if you insist on punishing [or rewarding] kids for their behavior, you'll end up with a worse kid in the long run.  Remember, true transformation is measured in years, not minutes.

Giving "warnings" and "consequences" didn't even work for God:

"If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins..."  [Leviticus 26:18]

"...as your sins deserve."  [Leviticus 26: 21]

"They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws..."  [Leviticus 26:43]

Did God's warnings that consequences would follow produce heart-change in his people?  No.  They still went ahead and did what he warned them not to. Why?  Pressure to comply - and the threat of consequences that accompany that - will never produce the actual change we really want for our kids.  Being intrinsically [self-motivated] to love well is far superior to being threatened into acting like you care about others.

So what's the alternative?
Connection.  Put the heart first.  Here's another post I wrote that gives you some concrete suggestions:  "Parenting Where the Heart Comes First."

"Don't apply that to your life."

If you don't know you have a new-hearted identity in Christ, the following passage from the Old Testament will be understandably troubling for you:

Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.  [Deut. 8:2]

If I had read that passage ten years ago, I would have drawn some horrible conclusions about my heart - wrongly assuming that:

"There is possibly something in my heart that I shouldn't trust - something that could prevent me from following his commands."

God's audience at that time was not new-hearted, Spirit-indwelled:
Why did God need to "test" something he already knew?  His omniscience would have told him what was already in their hearts.  They were not yet new hearted, Spirit-changed people.  Jesus had not come to bring them that yet.  That would be later in history.

Perhaps it was the people themselves that needed to know what was in their hearts, and experience the futility of living under a broken [ill-functioning] heart?  People often need to feel the crushing burden of living as a self-indulgent corpse before they are ready to live as a free-hearted and alive son or daughter.

What we need to know today:
Secondly, the primary point of Jesus' rescue of us is to give us a heart that loves God and leaves no room for doubt as to its allegiance.  And, being an in-Christ person, that faithful heart is already in you.  When you enter friendship with Jesus, he surgically removes the wandering heart and replaces it with a heart that is aligned and allied with God.

You can trust the faithfulness of your new heart.