Emotionally-healthy Christianity

How is it possible that a person attempting to live from their new heart can remain profoundly stuck? Why is it that even the most disciplined and faithful Christians fear conflict, live from false scripts they've inherited, and suffer just as many relational casualties as non-Christians?  What's missing?

One of the biggest barriers to living a free-hearted life - even if you believe that your heart is now good and noble - is unhealed emotional wounding.  It is entirely possible to be a New Covenant christian, yet discover areas of your life largely untouched by the transforming power of a new, Christ-indwelled heart.  Becoming a grace-filled Christian does not guarantee emotional freedom and relational success.


The mercy of pain
It may take relational pain to alert us to the emotional barriers blocking our new heart:  Author Pete Scazzero laments, "Yet now the pain was forcing me to face how superficially Jesus had penetrated my inner person, even though I had been a Christian for twenty years...whole layers of my emotional life had lain buried, untouched by God's transforming power."  As disruptive as pain can be, it is [albeit an unwelcomed] mercy.

Becoming more spiritually disciplined will not help. If it could, the most disciplined among us would be the most healthy; and that hasn't proven true in many cases.  Some of the most committed and spiritually disciplined people remain unable to relate well or worse, are completely unaware of their emotional and relational impediments.

"Sanctification" has left some of our deepest needs unhealed.
What if "sanctification" includes the healing of emotional wounds?  Is it even possible to be spiritually healthy apart from emotional health?  Honest experience tells us, "no."  Healthy spiritually requires emotional health - not perfection - but a committment to emotional healing. 

We know God by knowing ourselves, including our wounds and how they drive our relationships.  Though it is also true that we know ourselves by knowing God, it is imperative that wound-care be pursued,  leading us deeper into God's love, not farther from it.  Augustine wrote, "How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?" 

Perhaps the "easy yoke" of Christ has eluded us because we haven't brought our whole selves, including our darkest fears and incessant wounds, under the kind affection of Jesus.

Where do I start?

• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero
• How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen, by Sharon May, PhD
• Unlocking Your Family Patterns, by Cloud, Townsend, Carder, Henslin

Note:  God can heal in a variety of ways.  Counseling is only one means. Healing prayer, intercessory prayer, and body-mind methodologies can all be helpful when brought under the discernment and authoriy of Jesus.  And in no way am I suggesting the Church outsource all healing to professional counselors.  As Larry Crabb suggested in his ground-breaking book, "Connecting," powerful connection can happen between two non-professional people living under New Covenant assumptions. 

Why didn't God just start with grace?

Why didn't God just start with grace?   Why put His people through the Old Covenant Law with it's painfully exhaustive list of "do's and don't's?"  Why not go right to the good stuff?

Because the Law had a temporary, but genuinely merciful purpose. 

"WARNING, ACTIVE GRIZZLY AREA. STAY AWAY."

Our tour group was pulling over at a rest stop in Denali National Park, Alaska.   As we were getting out, our tour guide immediately cautioned that we were in active Grizzly habitat.  There was a sign about 300 feet away that read, "Warning, actively grizzly area.  Stay away."

If we had chosen to ignore the posted warning sign and gotten between a Grizzly sow and her cubs, the surgeon's needle sowing our scalps back on would have served as a painful reminder just how foolish it would have been to ignore the clear and present danger. Ignorance hurts.  Foolishness hurts even more.

Similarly, our medication bottles often come with a warning label saying, "Do not exceed recommended dosage."  The label itself cautions that there is something at risk: You.  But, "If one pill makes me feel good then five pills would make me feel great!"  Maybe so, but the intense vomiting or drug-induced coma that follows will be a painful reminder that sin hurts. 

The law was a temporary form of grace.  The Old Covenant couldn't offer a cure for foolishness and the even greater pain of trying harder not to be so, but it mercifully made clear the painfulness of chosing against life.  Against health.  Against wholeness. 

We'd beg God to free us from chronic arguments with our spouse, the addiction to emotional eating, the pull of porn that won't let us go.  Sin hurts.  Ignoring the warning signs hurts.  And when it hurts that badly, you want help:  When you spin your wheels long enough, you want to stop the madness.

 

SO THE LAW CREATED A CRAVING FOR GRACE.

"As long as an intense longing for deliverance from sinning has not been wrought, they will naturally fall back into the power of the law and the flesh.  The holiness which the New Covenant offers will rather terrify than attract them..."  - Andrew Murray

Ask any addict or person who has tried harder to be a better person:  Grace is far more attractive to the powerless than it is to the prideful.  The Old Covenant Law's painful exposure mercifully ushered in a craving for authentic goodness, a desire to get out from underneath sin's manure pile.  Sin hurts.  Goodness restores us.  We'd beg God to free us from something that had a hold over us.

Law created a craving for grace. 

Un-bridled Freedom

Grace is even better than, "God's not mad at you anymore."  It's also better than "unmerited favor," or "unconditional acceptance."

WHY is grace UNBRIDLED FREEDOM?

In order to control a horse, the headgear that the reins are attached to includes the bridle that fits over his face, and a metal bit that goes into the tender part of a horse's mouth. Those who don't yet know how to intuitively move with a horse often jerk the horse's reins, causing the metal bit to bite into the horse's mouth.  This bit-and-bridle method uses discomfort and force in order to get the horse to comply.

Under grace, the "bridle" [Old Covenant Rules] and "mouth bit" [painful pressure] are taken off -  removed from the Christian, because the Spirit has given us new hearts that are no longer "prone to wander."

We no longer need bit and bridle to get us to move in the right direction.  The horse [we] can move intuitively with the rider [the Spirit].

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My book, Recover Your Good Heart, exposes the 'gospel' of pressure - getting jerked around by messages that claim you're a "new creation" but treat you like you're an unruly horse that needs to be "broken."

BUY ON AMAZON HERE.

Why Christians are painfully confused about the heart

Confusion leads to pain.

The way you talk about something will either lead to health or increasing pain.  There's growing scientific research to suggest that our thoughts [and therefore the way we talk about them] actually have resonance at the subatomic level, something like a signature or substance that moves through time and space affecting the molecules around them. [See Quantum Theory] [1] We know that sound waves move the air and molecules around them.  Now we're discovering that our prayers and thoughts do as well.  Let's assume how we talk [based upon those thoughts] also carries actual creative power.

Thoughts create.  Talking that flows from those thoughts creates.  The wrong thoughts and talk create pain.

Why does it matter how we refer to the heart?

Most Christians refer to entirety of their inside world as their "heart."  Every thought, every emotion, every temptation, every desire gets lumped into the melting pot of their insides, and they call that vast mixture their "heart."  Whether bad or good, they mistakenly call everything that takes place deep inside them, their "heart."

It is not so. 

When we open the hood of our car, we would never refer to everything we see there as "the engine" because there's also the battery, hoses, and sparkplugs.  The engine is but one thing you see under the hood.   But because we can't "see" our mind, body and 'flesh;' or take an x-ray of our spiritual insides, our habit of lumping them all together has left us painfully confused. 

That's why you can hear a pastor say on one Sunday that he believes we are "new creations" regenerated by the Holy Spirit, but out of his lips next Sunday he carelessly prays,  "Let your light come into our darkened hearts this Christmas season."  How can you be a "new creation " -- having the new heart God promised through Ezekiel and Jeremiah and affirmed in the New Testament -- yet assume that a Christian's heart remains a darkened heart?  No wonder Christians are confused!

Sorting it out 

The heart is only one part of our insides, and if we get that wrong, we'll believe that all sorts of terrible thoughts and desires are coming from our heart when they're not.

As Christians, our new heart is only one source of thoughts, emotions, and desires within us.  The mind is another; so is the "flesh," that ghost remnant of our former lives.  We also have an Enemy outside of us that loves whispering half-truths to us, then blaming us for buying into them.

Only good fruit can come from good roots. 

Your new God-given heart [the rootedness of your new identity] can only produce good fruit.  So when we speak of any kind of temptation, wayward desires, or addictions swirling around our insides, we must no longer think that all of that mess constitutes the heart or comes from it.  No.  The mess comes from anything BUT the new heart God gave us when we said 'yes' to Him.


Bottom line:  Your new heart isn't the problem.  The new heart is the new wineskin for the Spirit.  Let's not lump everything inside us under one label, because confusion is painful.

...............................
[1]  UpperDogs, Sarah Thiessen & Heather Hughes.  The authors, both Christians devoted to restoration, make a compelling case that Quantum Theory provides evidence that both our thoughts and our prayers, especially under partnership with the Holy Spirit actually create new realities.

Are you fighting the wrong thing?

Click to listen.

PODCAST:  "ARE YOU FIGHTING THE WRONG THING?"

A friend of author Wayne Jacobsen once drew a cartoon where Jesus opened his arms to the masses and said, "Come to me all you who are heavy-burdened and I will give you an accountability group." 

The "Christianity" many of us were invited into declares that the battle we face is against the heart, not for it. Why?  Because the underlying assumption of a false gospel is that the "heart is deceitfully wicked," even after you've been made a new creation in Christ.  We warn each other about the alleged dangers of following our hearts:  "Don't trust your heart, it will lead you astray.  You have a wandering heart, a divided heart.  Reject the desires of the heart.  If it's what you want, it probably isn't what God wants." 

Certainly discernment must accompany desire:  You need to know if a desire is coming from your heart -- and is therefore a noble desire -- or if it's coming from another source.  Or it may be that your heart may need mentoring before you rush headlong into something good but untimely.  But this is not to say that the Christian's heart is still "deceitfully wicked."

Scripture says, "I will give you a new heart."  This is the gift Jesus gave you when you said 'yes' to him. Paul even says, "In my inner being, I delight in God's commands..."  [How can he delight in God's commands if his heart, his inmost being, is rebelliously set against God?]  He wouldn't be able to delight in God's commands if that was the case.]

When you said 'yes' to Jesus, he gave you his own noble-hearted nature.  The irony is, the brand of misguided Christianity that pins the heart to the wall  -- so that it doesn't go astray -- actually produces Christians who go to war against the most holy and noble place within them!  These mislead souls end up mistrusting their best self! The Christian has then set herself against the very residence of goodness and wholeness God set within her.  We quote, "May Christ dwell in your heart through faith" then attack the very heart where Jesus dwells within. So not only are we at war with our best selves, we're at war with God's work; because we've shackled and shut-down the heart of his work, literally.  The core of God's work in any man or woman begins by replacing a ruined heart with a royal heart, and we've rejected our own crown.

This false gospel creates a house-divided by...

• Guarding against the heart rather than guarding the heart, the wellspring of life within you.
• Holding the heart hostage rather than healing the heart's wounds.
• Locking the heart away rather than loosing the heart from false suspicion.

Don't fight the wrong thing.  Fight the Enemy of your heart, the Accuser, but don't wage war against God's throneroom he has set within you.  In Christ, your heart becomes your ally, not your enemy.

Grace has never been about making a bad heart better.

How far would you go so save your son or daughter's life?

John Quincy Archibald's [John Q] son collapses unexpectedly while running the bases in a Little League game.  The diagnosis is a bloated, diseased heart.  Doctor's inform John Q and his wife that unless his son gets a heart-transplant, he will die.  He won't see his next birthday.

But John Q's health insurance will not cover the boy's heart transplant.  It will cost $250,000 to put the boy on the donor list.  John can't raise that kind of money no matter how hard he tries.  So his dying boy is dropped from the donor list.  There will be no rescue, no future for the boy.  His enlarged heart will kill him in days.

So what does a father do whose son will die because his heart can no longer give him life?  John Q makes a staggering decision...To take his own life, so that his son can have his healthy heart.  Transplant by suicide.  Life begets life:  If the father dies, the boy lives.

"Heart of my own heart."

Grace has never been about God trying to make a bad heart better.  That was never an option. Your old heart was failing to give you life, and reconditioning it was never God's plan for rescue.  Replacement, not refurbishment.   We needed to start over.

There is an untapped vein of gold lying beneath the surface mess.  You were gifted with a new kind of heart that no longer needs an addiction.  The kind of heart that trusts when there is no comfort.  The kind of radiance that doesn't fear the blamers and the shamers.

Grace has never been about making a bad heart better:  It's always been about God replacing your heart with his heart.  And God has already done this for you.  In you.  The day you said, "Yes," to Jesus was the day you got your transplant.

There's one prayer the warrior-poet, David, prayed that you don't need to:  "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."    David's future hope was your present reality.

You are a donor recipient.  Trust the life within you.

Our root problem: unreleased goodness

The guy confessing an embarrassing porn problem was sitting at the end of the table.  A big, burly guy, close to tears.  His sordid lust occupied every waking minute of his day: Its trap had sprung, and its iron teeth had shut fast around his heart.   The man was a faithful church attender, a solid family man, and took the Bible seriously.  But none of it was setting him free from his addiction.

I was on the other side of the table because I was leading the group of men through the Study Guide for my book, "Recover Your Good Heart."  Nothing I or the other men said could convince this good man that he was a good man.  His addiction had hijajcked his identity.

What is this Christian man's root problem?

An undisciplined will? Is he not spending enough time in prayer? Is he not busy enough with Christian service?  Is his core problem a wayward nature; a wandering heart? Or should we send him to a counselor to help him manage his addiction?  Should he explore any unresolved family history issues?

What if this addicted man's root problem doesn' t reflect any of those typical assessments?  What if his root problem is not ultimately resolved through either Christian discipline or therapy?

Unreleased goodness

Author of the book, Connecting, Larry Crabb asks the following question:  "What if the root problem in a Christian's life, beneath all the personal, emotional, and spiritual struggles, is unreleased goodness?"

1.  Not psychological disorder

2.  Not emotional baggage from dysfunctional backgrounds and buried traumatic memories

3.  Not irresponsible living [1]

It can often be helpful to gently confront sinful behavior; or to seek counseling or therapy; but often this misdiagnoses the root problem.  We don't always need more help with repentance, or analyzing our past; though healing can begin there.  We need a small community of a few who have a vision of the goodness beneath our mess - a God-given goodness that is stronger than the mess -  with noble appetities that are longing for nourishment and release.  This is what the Spirit is up to.  That's His invitation.

Our root problem as Christians is unreleased goodness; and we need others around us who have a vision of our [and their own] God-bestowed goodness.

[1] Larry Crabb, Connecting; p. 72

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Further resources:  My book, Recover Your Good Heart, exposes the myth that the Christian is still "prone to wander," and gives the reader a new vision of an astonishing and practical goodness they already have.  A goodness awaiting release.

The fear of becoming a spiritual defector

The guy in the audience was pretty rude about it:  He stopped me in the middle of a seminar I was leading on the Good and Noble Heart and said, "I think you've badly misunderstood the Gospel, sir."  His interjection was not simply an attempt to engage me in a meaningful dialogue.  It was an indictment.  And it nearly derailed the seminar for the other participants. As soon as the event was over, he brushed by me with a scowl that said plenty.

Convictions are like armor: well-plated, protective, and hopefully durable. People don't give up their convictions easily.  Nor should they. But you no longer need that armor if Someone stronger is standing between you and your fear. 

Why is it so difficult for many people to embrace the message that their heart is no longer "prone to wander: that while they can sin, their most true and authentic self no longer wants to?  Why so staunchly deny that Jesus is more interested in freeing their good and noble heart than in pressuring them to be better?

Here's the reason:  People are strongly motivated to avoid fear.  If they leave behind the 'gospel' of pressure, at best they'll no longer have a checklist to follow that legitimizes their attempt to feel they've done enough; and worse, they fear betraying the pastors who have spiritual authority over them.  Nor would they want the exposure of swimming upstream while their church friends are swimming downstream; exposing themselves as a spiritual defector, standing outside the group.

But worst of all, they dread betraying God Himself.  And nothing tears at the soul like the belief that you've betrayed "the one who died and gave up his life for you."

A pointy finger warns the questioner, Don't ever betray your spiritual shepherds; and never question God.  At the very least, a rebuke will await you; at the worst, Hell will swallow you whole.

Not many are willing to pull the pin on the grenade.  The reluctant man has already had too much blow up in his face.  But ignorance is not bliss, it's ignorance; and God welcomes a hearty, even heated, discussion; even if it means you have to question the life raft you've been floating in since you were 12.  Sometimes you have to leave the life raft so that the Captain can pull you up into the security of his Coastguard Cutter. 

Bottom line:  Is it worth it to you to risk exposure as a spiritual defector, in order to find out that what you've believed about your heart has been sabotaging it all these years? 

*My book, Recover Your Good Heart, carefully examines the biblical argument for the good and noble heart, which a Christian receives immediately when they come to Christ.  I also demonstrate that this is not a new teaching, showing the reader there's good reason to take it seriously.

What does powerful connecting look like?

Powerful connecting rarely happens in the Church, or anywhere, for that matter.  Why do we often feel impotent when faced with the deep pain of another?  Should we advise, refer them to counseling, try to listen more attentively? 

What would you say to the following man who is courageous enough to share his anguish with you?

"This was a time of extreme anguish, during which I wondered whether I would be able to hold on to my own life.  Everything came crashing down -- my self-esteem, my energy to love and work, my sense of being loved, my hope for healing, my trust in God...All had become darkness.  Within me there was one long scream coming from a place I didn't know existed, a place full of demons." [1]

Would you simply try to listen to the man?  Assure him of God's loving presence?  Refer him to counseling? Suggest that God is trying to teach him perseverence?  Expose his insecurities and hang-ups, his false beliefs?

The suffering man in our story, by the way, was Henri Nouwen; a spiritual giant to many who had authored 39 books by the time of his death in 1996.

Failure to connect
Larry Crabb, author of the groundbreaking book, Connecting, says that one reason we fail to connect powerfully with others in a way that could actually heal them is because we often operate with a "Therapeutic Model."  Crabb calls this the "Treatment/Repair" Model, where we attempt to fix what's wrong in the other. In this model,

"The first step, of course, is to figure out what is wrong [diagnosis] and face it, then courageously work through the often long and painful process of coming to grips with the internal damage and learning to approach life in healthier ways [therapy]."

In order to fix what's wrong, we uncover the underlying psychological forces influencing their behavior.  We analyze the hurting person's past, look into underlying patterns and suggest coping mechanisms and re-framing approaches to insure a healthier outcome for them.  The people that offer the most insight become the person's heroes.   Counseling often buys into this model; and though it can often provide insight and suggest more healthy, adaptive behaviors, it may not actually heal the person. Insight may not translate into healing.

Under this find what's damaged--fix what's wrong model, we might recommend that Henri Nouwen see a counselor in order to get at underlying damage, expose faulty belief systems, and recommend treatment for depression. We might even send him Scripture verses to encourage him so that he can believe there's a light at the end of his dark tunnel.  But this model may yield little healing fruit. Crabb points out that, "Our power to influence lives does not come...from revealing to people the details of their internal mess."

What does powerful connecting look like?
Crabb rightly suggests that God does not often use a Therapeutic Model [Find and Fix What's Wrong] in order to heal us.  Rather, God does three things:

1.  "First, he provides a taste of Christ delighting in us -- the essence of connection; accepting who we are and envisioning who we could be."

2.  "Second, he diligently searches within us for the good he has put there -- an affirming exposure; remaining calm when badness is visible, keeping confidence that goodness lies beneath."

3.  "Third, he engagingly exposes what is bad and painful -- a disruptive exposure;" in order to uncover the goodness beneath the mess - "a goodness that is more defining of who we are than our badness...When we look at the bad, we must always be looking harder for the hidden good."    [#3 should happen less as we use the approaches of #1 and #2.]  Crabb adds, "A careful exploration of the redeemed heart does not sink us in a cesspool; it's more like mining for gold in a dirty cave." 

We are not primarily damaged people:  We are foremost saints, gifted with new-hearted vitality and power; a vitality that may be buried beneath a mess, but not subverted by it.

Did help come for Henri Nouwen?
So did Henri Nouwen find any who could help him?  Yes, from an elderly priest who understood how to powerfully connect with him:

"During the most difficult period of my life, when I experienced great anguish and despair, he was there.  Many times, he pulled my head to his chest and prayed for me without words but with a Spirit-filled silence that dispelled my demons of despair and made me rise up from his embrace with new vitality." [2]

Something powerful was poured out from the elderly priest into the broken-hearted younger man; arousing something buried, but alive and strong in Henri.  That power was the quickening life of Christ Himself.

We connect well with others when we...

• give them a taste of God's delighting in them,


• relentlessly search for the God-given good urges beneath their pain and mess,


• refuse our impulses to fix what's wrong; and instead, take our cues from Jesus, asking, "How can I join You as You release what is most alive in me, pouring that Life into them, in order to release what is most alive in them?"

 [1]  The Inner Voice of Love:  A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom, Henri Nouwen

[2]  Our Greatest Gift, Henri Nouwen

All other quotations from Connecting, by Larry Crabb.

The Cure for Shame

Shame will be our default position and the virus in every relationship -  unless it is healed. Shame says, "You are flawed to the marrow, have nothing significant to offer,  hopelessly addicted,  and inherently prone to blow it.   The good in you can never outweigh the bad in you.  You will never be enough."

A shame-consciousness will be the Achille's Heal for every leader, organization, and every family and parent-child relationship, unless we find the cure.  And there is a cure.

But when we look to the pulpit or Public Television or TED pundits for a cure for shame, it often sounds like one the the following, often reasonable-sounding antidotes:

Acceptance as an antidote to shame:

"I am loved, despite..."

"I am accepted."

Self-confidence as an antidote to shame:

"Practice positive self-talk."

"Believe you are worthy."

Forgiveness as an antidote to shame:

"I am forgiven."

"God's grace is greater than my sin."

Discipline as an antidote for shame:

"Step up your prayer life and spiritual disciplines."

"Try harder not to miss group meetings."

Release from guilt as an antidote to shame:

"It's not your fault."

Positive thinking or better self-talk can't handle this.
Yet, as helpful and often true as most of the above antidotes can be, none of these solutions is sufficient to heal the root of shame.  Most Christians think that one or more of those antidotes I listed above will do the trick; yet it often feels like we're up against something much bigger than positive thinking or healthy self-talk can handle. 

Our best efforts to fend off our critics [whether external or internal] often feel a bit like the leather-tough cowboy who pretends the bullet lodged in his gut doesn't hurt; or the female CEO who tries to casually shake off the brutal criticisms lobbed at her by the Board, while she privately sheds angry tears in the bathroom stall. 

We're tired of pretending we're o.k., and though we are reluctant to admit it, pretending only temporarily shoves away the pecking buzzards, knowing the scavengers will always return until the kill is devoured.    Pretending we're o.k. doesn't actually heal us.

The cure for shame
The best question to ask is, "What does Jesus think the cure for shame is?"  Does Jesus have a way to heal the root system of shame within the human personality, rather than asking us to coax ourselves into positive self-talk or try to act bravely in the face of our critics? 

In Jesus' own words, the cure he offers is this: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you." [Ezekiel 36:26]  His answer is as astoundingly simple as it is unique.  The heart is the root system for a person's relational health.  Jesus restores the root system in order to restore the person.    The moment you enter friendship with Jesus, the diseased root system is removed:  The heart that has driven you into a shame-mindset your whole life is taken away.  In its place is emplanted a remarkable, noble and radiant heart - a new root system.  Everything you hoped you could be is embedded in that new heart you've been given, waiting to be affirmed and released.

What Jesus might say to set us free: 

Jesus might say,

"Let's be truly authentic here, no pretending.  There's no need for that.  You're safe with Me.  No mustering up a sense of worthiness that shields you from the critics;  instead, let's take self-defense off the table forever. 

When the Devil comes to Me and tries to accuse and slander you to My face, I point him to your new and noble heart.  It infuriates the Enemy because self-defense is the only thing he has to teach you.

Your new-hearted nobility is a gift from me, and no one feels compelled to defend something they know is a gift:   If you didn't create it, you're not responsible for defending it, right?  I defend you so that you don't have to.  Your new heart is how I defend you against your critics."

LEARN MORE:
To learn more about recovering your good and noble heart, you can check out Jim's book, Recover Your Good Heart - Living free from religious guilt and the shame of never good-enough.

Audio Interview: "Why the Christian life isn't impossible."

Most of us live with a cruel distortion of the Gospel:  The distortion sounds like this, "There but for the grace of God go I."    The hope of the Gospel is not, "Jesus, You're going to have to pull off the Christian life for me because I'm too much of a mess."  Rather, the hope of the New Covenant is, "Jesus, by your Spirit release the new appetites and cravings you've already deposited within my new nature."  The Christian life is no longer impossible.

Podcast interview:  Loren Rosser, who works in the television industry in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area,  is a great friend who is one of the few interviewers who understands the good and noble heart.  This is part one of a two-part interview. 

In this interview, Loren Rosser interviews Jim [Part One]:

1. What's the difference between a Christian who sins v.s.  a person who has a sin-nature?


2. Why ignoring our heart's desires means we could be missing our calling.


3. Why secular answers to shame lead to pretending, while the Gospel heals the root of shame.


4. How can you tell when you're still living under "Old Covenant" shame?

The Giant strides within.

"What we need is not so much personal development, as personal replacement:  What we need is not so much personal development, but personal substitution."  - Dwight Edwards

The invitation of the Gospel is, "Let Me carry you." 
The relief of the Gospel is, "Will you let Me?"

What I don't mean:
By "personal development," I do not mean something like the mastery of a sport or an instrument. [Though it's never a solo performance - It's always a duet.]  

Rather, I mean the addiction that humans have to mastering their own character,  keeping the commandments, constraining their sin, and living like Christ without the supernatural resources only God can give.  It's the attempt to live under natural power when only super-natural power will suffice.  Personal development is the attempt to live under a manufactured righteouness rather than a borrowed righteousness.

Continue the way you began:
We needed someone to take our place, not only on the Cross; but even still -  On Monday at 3 p.m. when our boss has called us in for employee evaluations; or when we've blown it with our spouse and our spouse was right; or when our valiant effort to resist our addictions has left us deeper in the hole.

A life driven by personal development sounds like this:

I will be disciplined enough.

I will manage your impression of me.

I will try harder.

I will trust enough.

The tender Giant:
By contrast, a life depending upon a personal, indwelling Substitute looks like this:

The experience of God breaking into human life is the experience of an invasion from beyond of Another; who in gentle power breaks in upon our littleness, and in tender expansiveness makes room for Himself. 

Had we thought Him an intruder, no.  God's first odor is sweetness; God's touch, an imparting of power.  Suddenly, a tender Giant walks by our side ... no... strides within our puny footsteps.  We are no longer our little selves.  - Thomas Kelly

Substitionary Sanctification
The Christian believes in substitutionary sanctification, not simply substitutionary justification.  In other words, what began as grace continues as grace, because true discipleship is about allowing Jesus to trigger and release our new nature, not about our white-knuckled efforts to live up to our best intentions.

What's the fruit?
The fruit of personal development [avoiding supernatural resources] is shame.  The fruit of personal subtitution is restoration. 

We are no longer our little selves:  The Giant strides within our puny footsteps.

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Further digging:

• Audio - "The Saving Life of Christ," [Dwight Edwards]
• Podcast - Revolution Within-part one.  Revolution Within-part two.  [Jim Robbins and Dwight Edwards]

Radio Interview: Masculine Journey Radio Interviews Jim Robbins

 

This past Saturday, Masculine Journey Radio aired their interview with me. If you missed it, you can listen to it now.

The guys at Masculine Journey Radio - Darrin, Todd, and Sam - really get the message of the good and noble heart. They've also got great senses of humor.

During our conversation we talk more about my personal journey, and how radically different it is to believe your heart is no longer "prone to wander."  Jesus replaced your wandering heart with a heart like his own the moment you said 'yes,' to Him.

Though the show is primarily geared towards men, the message of the good and noble heart can resonate with both women and men. After all, we're all tired of hearing we're "never-enough." 

Radio interview with Jim Robbins on Saturday

I'll be a guest on the Masculine Journey Radio show this coming Saturday, December 21, at 1 p.m. EST.   These guys love helping people get their hearts back so that they can live fully-alive.  Looking forward to our conversation. 

How we accuse our hearts of all kinds of things...

Too often, when we talk about "the heart," we tend to view the heart as our entire internal world; that is, anything and everything that's going on inside of us - whether good, bad or ugly.  This catch-all, kitchen sink view of the heart has led us in some really unhelpful directions. 

Notice how we often frame what's going on inside of us:

1. "I had to really examine the motives of my heart."


2. "My stubbornness means that I have a 'divided heart.'"


3. "You haven't given your whole heart to God."

In each of these instances, the accusation is clear:  Your heart will mislead you.  It is not to be trusted.

This simply isn't true. Your new and noble heart isn't capable of deceiving you or leading you astray.  Let's look at each claim:

1.  "I had to really examine the motives of my heart." 
Yes, you may have poor motives in this or that situation, but those corrupt motives are not originating from your new heart:  They emanate from your flesh - the old programming left over by your old self, or the "old man."  That old self is no longer here; but it's imprint was left behind.  That is where your faulty motives lie.

Another source of bad motives comes from the virus that lives in your body:  sin.  Notice that I didn't say your "sin nature."  Why?  Because you no longer have a sin-nature.  After your sin-nature was removed at conversion, there remained a sin virus that can leave collateral damage in its wake, but it cannot become you; and it isn't you; just as you might have the flu, but are not the virus itself.

A third source of bad motives comes from the Enemy of our hearts.  The foul beings will quietly come up beside you and whisper in your ear all manner of wicked things, and pin those thoughts on you!

2.  "My stubbornness means that I have a 'divided heart.'" 
No.  You don't have a divided heart.  Your new spirit [heart/will] may be in conflict with your flesh, but your heart [true nature] itself is united with Christ and inseparable from his nature.  There is no separation between your heart and his: One cannot be distinguished from the other.  As Luther declared, “You are so entirely joined unto Christ, that He and you are made as it were one person; so that you may boldly say, ‘I am one with Christ,’ that is to say, Christ’s righteousness, victory, and life are mine.”  Because his heart cannot be divided, yours cannot be divided.

3.  "You haven't given your whole heart to God." 
False.  It was never about giving your heart to God.  [Surprised?] Jesus wasn't asking you to offer him your old heart:  He was asking you to receive!   The heart you used to have wouldn't have done you or Him much good.  It was beyond repair and needed to be replaced.  Not fixed; but replaced.  "Getting saved" wasn't about offering a ruined and wayward heart to God, hoping that he'd fix it one day:  Rather, it was about receiving a new-hearted nature from God.  It has always been first about receiving.  He doesn't require anything from you that he hasn't already deposited within you. [1]

Try this:  For three days, write down some of your own internal dialogue about your heart and its motives.  What are you accusing your heart of?  What's the real source of those undesirable thoughts or motives?  Then apologize to your heart:  There's no shame in this:  After all, its no longer in your heart to accuse your heart anyway. 

[1] Dwight Edwards, Revolution Within

Update on Wednesday, August 14, 2013 at 4:33PM by Jim Robbins

Here's another often-heard statement that denies our new-hearted identity:  "God had to soften my heart so that ______________."  

While God may need to bring about change, He is not interested in fixing your heart:  Rather, your heart is your ally now, not your enemy.  Your wandering heart was replaced during Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection with a pure and noble heart.

Your flesh, even 'sin in the flesh,' might trip you up; but your heart [your new and radiant nature] doesn't need fixing or cleansing.

How do others respond to your suffering?

The best way to respond to another person's suffering is at an emotional level, not a rational one.  Respond to emotion with emotion. [1]  I don't mean that we fake an emotional response, or become overly dramatic or animated as we acknowledge their anguish; but rather, we learn to hear with our hearts, rather than dispensing prescriptions. 

How a person handles your pain will tell you about their view of God.

When sharing our heartache with others, most of us get a corrective response.  Here's what the Corrective Response sounds like:

1. "Here's what the Bible says about that; now just believe it." 

2. "Here's my experience and how I handled pain:  You should adopt my attitude."

3. "You're over-reacting or too sensitive.  It's not as bad as you think it is."

[It may, in fact, not be as bad as they think it is, but telling them so isn't likely to improve their situation or perspective.]

The negative impact of the Corrective Response:
The fallacy here is that reason cannot always heal; and will often make the suffering worse.   And reason is a cheap substitute for entering into another's suffering:  It takes more energy and love to "weep with those who weep" than offering a rational [and clinical] response to their hurt. 

The collateral damage of the corrective response is one of dismissal, which quickly becomes shame:  Because your heartache isn't taken seriously,  your suffering is leveled as an indictment against you because you're too weak, too faithless, or too sensitive to handle the situation well.  Or, so go the assumptions about you.

Suffering is not faithlessness:
Often times, the corrective response is built upon the assumption that your response to pain indicates a lack of faith.   The truth is, that while your "flesh may be weak" and faithless; your good and noble heart is not:  Your new heart may be growing in trust, but it was equipped with the same confidence in the Father that Jesus himself held onto.  "Christ in you" means that there is a very deep part of you that still trusts, despite your very real feelings of abandonment.

Don't see pain as necessarily a lack of faith.  Emotions are not always reliable indicators of a person's true inner strength; especially when they themselves are overwhelmed and can't see their own hope and resilience while its buried beneath the rubble.

The positive impact of responding to emotion with emotion?
1.  Responding with emotional empathy opens the sufferer up to the healing presence of God.

2.  Responding with emotional empathy give the listener permission to be taken seriously, especially when something challenging may be needed to be said at a later point in time.  Without empathy, the listener doesn't have permission.

3.  Responding with emotional empathy makes the listener a safe harbor for a broken vessel. 


We can learn to ask: What is my friend experiencing? 

• Fear?  
• Betrayal?
• Futility? 
• Loss?
• Forsakenness?

 
Learning to respond to emotion with emotion, particularly the emotions the suffering person is drowning under, will help us serve as an advocate rather than as an advisor; a companion rather than a courtroom judge; a compassionate healer rather than a clinician.

[1]  Intimate Life, Intimate Life Ministries

Seabiscuit: How the horse's trainer saw the heart underneath the brokenness

It takes someone with eyes to see your glory.

Seabiscuit was one of the most unlikely racehorse success stories in history.  Given his physical geometry, he shouldn't have been considered for championship racing any more than a child's boxy rockinghorse with blunted legs.  Rather than a sleek, aerodynamic grace, he had a body roughly-shaped like a brick, with short stumps for legs and squarish bucked knees.  Further, his legs wouldn't straighten completely, as if he was an elderly man shuffling forward with a bent-kneed hunch.  To bet on Seabiscuit would have been like betting on a St. Bernard in a greyhound race.

The horse walked with an awkward gait many mistook for lameness.  And when he ran, he comically moved in what some called an "eggbeater gait," jerking his left foreleg out and wide, like he was furiously shooing away a pestering hornet.

Upon examining Seabiscuit, veterinarians had pronounced him only "serviceably useful;" but in this horse, his would-be trainer, Tom Smith, "knew there was something lying dormant." [1] 


But Seabiscuit had heart. 

Seabiscuit had heart, despite all outward appearances.  Trainer Tom Smith, and owner Charles Howard, saw it.  Under Smith's unconventional training, the horse became the champion Smith always saw in him.

Here's what the horse's owner, Charles Howard, said when he first met the "Biscuit:"

I can't describe the feeling he gave me...but somehow I knew he had what it takes.  Tom and I realized that we had our worries and troubles ahead.  We had to rebuild him, both mentally and physically, but you don't have to rebuild the heart when it's already there, big as all outdoors."  [2]

You don't have to rebuild the heart when it's already there. 
That's your story.  When you entered into friendship with Jesus, he removed the heart that bucked in the chute and crashed against the rails, then replaced it with the racing prowess and potency of a Man O' War, Secretariat, or a Seabiscuit.

You don't rebuild something God has already built.  You don't need to beg for any more holiness, righteousness, or goodness.  Rather, you're invited to cooperate with God as he releases what he's already put within you.  You don't have to rebuild the heart when it's already there:  Trust the heart and heft of what he's already built. 

There may be renovation yet to be done to get your body and your mind tracking with your new nature; but for now,  you've got heart.  The rest will come.

[1] Excerpted from Seabiscuit, by Laura Hillenbrand, p. 44

[2] Excerpted from Seabiscuit, by Laura Hillenbrand, p. 45

What do you want for your kids? [Redefining "good morals"]

Some time ago, I asked a group of parents to list the qualities they wanted their children to possess as they grew older.  The initial responses were character traits such as:

"respectful"

"kind"

"responsible"

Only after those initial character qualities were suggested did some parents begin to offer other qualities they desired for their children like:

"problem solving"

"empathy"

"purpose"

Typical moral categories aren't enough.
Notice that the first list fell within very typical moral categories that represents what we think of as "good behavior."  Yet the qualities on the second list are also critical for development.  Traits like "empathetic awareness,"  "discernment" [needed for problem-solving] and "sense of purpose" are also needed for relational and emotional health, yet are not often the first things we think of when it comes to character development.

Children are often taught both in school and at home to be "kind" or "respectful" or good "team players"  [all potentially forms of compliance to get them to be more manageable]; while ignoring qualities like "play," "risk-taking," and "redemptive suffering."

Teaching our kids to be disruptive
Though we want our kids to "show respect towards authority," we would never think of teaching our children how to be redemptively-disruptive - standing against injustice when it is warranted - because Jesus' cleansing of the temple doesn't look like "self-control" to us.   Or that addressing injurious authority may sometimes be warranted because there are still "white-washed tombs" and "broods of vipers" using power and entitlement to lord it over those they should serve.

Redefining "morality" for our kids
How have you been taught to view "character" and "morality?"  Strictly in terms of good behavior?  What other traits would you consider listing that you hope to instill in your child?

Responding to a reader: "But don't we sometimes need someone to correct our thinking?"

In my recent post, "Why the 'Correct Their Stinking Thinking' Model Doesn't Always Help," I expose the "Correct Their Bad Thinking" Model as misguided at best.  Most Christians have been given the Corrective Thinking Model of helping:  "This friend isn't able to heal because they've got 'stinking thinking' that's preventing it.  They're not able to receive the healing because they are holding stubbornly to misguided, destructive, even faithless thoughts.  It's my job to show them their bad thinking."

Response to a reader

I got a really thoughtful response to that post, asking if there might be times when that "Correct Their Thinking" Model might be helpful.  After all, haven't we all heard a speaker, or read a book that helped us see ourselves differently [corrected our thinking] - exposing lies that were pinning our hearts down, or freed us to believe Jesus really did make us truly noble and good-hearted friends of his?  Haven't those speakers or authors given us truth that sets us free ... by exposing bad thinking?

Here's my response to that thoughtful question:

You're absolutely right: Many times we do need a correction for our thinking. I, too, have found reading particular authors very helpful as I've discovered my new identity and worth. But God often brought those books to me when I couldn't hear it from friends. He brought the truth from those books to me when I was ready to hear, and in a way and manner tailored to me.

What I was referring to in the post was that many people use the "correct thinking model" ONLY; or at a time when the other person just isn't ready to hear it; or they hand it out like a prescription without thinking.

Yet, there may be something blocking a person's healing that isn't simply solved by telling a person, "Don't think like that."

For example, I heard a story of a woman who couldn't stop collecting teddy bears. Teddy bear plates, pillows, blankets, and more teddy bears themselves. Every corner of the house, every surface was covered with teddy bears. She had gone into counseling because she was up around 400 + teddy bears at that point and it was causing her marriage to suffer, though her husband was trying to be understanding.  The woman's obsession was overrunning the house.

When her friends, who knew how to pray, sat quietly with her and asked Jesus what was going on [rather than assuming they knew what was going on], he gently revealed a memory to her. A horrible and painful one, of being a little girl and watching her father, in a fit of rage at her, rip the head off of her only teddy bear, throwing it to the floor. 

Some part of that little girl's heart shattered that day.

Thankfully, her friends didn't tell her, "You shouldn't be thinking teddy bears are the solution to your pain. Stop thinking that way:  It's hurting you." Instead, they asked Jesus to come into that little girl's [woman's] fearful memory and heal the terror, mending that broken place in her heart; bringing her back to safety.  And it worked.

Hope that helps. You brought up a great point.

...Jim Robbins

Why the "Correct their stinking thinking" model doesn't always help.

Most Christians have been given the Corrective Thinking Model of helping:  "This friend isn't able to heal because they've got 'stinking thinking' that's preventing it.  They're not able to receive the healing because they are holding stubbornly to misguided, destructive, even faithless thoughts." 

While on the one hand, this may be true in some cases, it often isn't helpful to tell the person that they're believing and thinking wrongly, and it may not reveal the true problem.   I've discovered when using the Corrective Thinking Model that it only proves mildly helpful because it often can't bring about the recovery needed: Besides the person may already be well-aware of their destructive thought patterns, yet feel helpless to overcome them.

The Corrective Thinking Model [Just Fix What's Wrong With Their Bad Thinking] is rooted in an Analysis Model that assumes:  "If we can diagnose the why, then we've healed the what."  This model assumes that analysis equals healing.  It does not:  Just like determining why you broke your leg during a skiing accident doesn't, in and of itself, heal the bones.  Answering the "why" only gives you revelation not restoration.

Agnes Sanford, in her classic on prayer, The Healing Light, describes the hazards of the "Correct their bad thinking" model:

"You mustn't think that way!"  cries the would-be helper.  "You'll never get well when you think that way!  My dear, let me tell you ..."   And [the helper] proceeds to hold forth upon her own line, to hand over her own ready-made cure-all.  ...

Sometimes it happens to fit the need of the sufferer, and sometimes it does not.  And the one who longs to help mourns that the patient has no spiritual understanding. 

Sanford offers this counsel to would-be friends and helpers: 

The sick mind does not respond to reason.

[Notice what Sanford indicates:  In our frustration as helpers, we often blame the patient for a lack of spiritual understanding, rather than questioning the approach used.]

A better model:

We often jump in with the Corrective Thinking Model because we sincerely want to help, and it's the only model we've been given.  A more helpful question than, "How do I correct this person's poor thinking and bad beliefs about themselves or God," might be,

"Jesus, you got here before I did.  What are you up to?  Before I got here, you were already initiating my friend's restoration.  Help me understand what you're doing as you love my friend.  How can I join you?"  

There's no shame in this: We're simply being invited to learn from Jesus, who is a gracious teacher. 

Recommended resources:

• The Healing Light, by Agnes Sanford
• The Four Streams, audio series by John EldredgeN

Note:  This is an issue I've addressed in the past in other places, especially in a two-part podcast with author Dwight Edwards ["Revolution Within"]:

1. Podcast:  "Revolution Within," Part One
2. Podcast:  "Revolution Within,"  Part Two