Mother to young son:
"If you don't pick up your toys, you'll lose a privelege. I warned you that there would be consequences."
Translate:
"If you don't meet my expectations, pain will follow: I will either remove something from you, or do something to you."
Most of us were brought up under a compliance model: "Just get kids to behave. Give them 'consequences' if they don't meet your expectations."
Natural consequences:
Yes, there are natural outcomes to our choices: Relationships don't do well where there isn't mutual respect, including from child to parent. However, the carrot and stick [reward and punishment] model doesn't work. [Note: rewarding a child, in order to get good behavior, has also shown to short-change genuine transformation in the long-run.] In fact, research indicates that if you insist on punishing [or rewarding] kids for their behavior, you'll end up with a worse kid in the long run. Remember, true transformation is measured in years, not minutes.
Giving "warnings" and "consequences" didn't even work for God:
"If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins..." [Leviticus 26:18]
"...as your sins deserve." [Leviticus 26: 21]
"They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws..." [Leviticus 26:43]
Did God's warnings that consequences would follow produce heart-change in his people? No. They still went ahead and did what he warned them not to. Why? Pressure to comply - and the threat of consequences that accompany that - will never produce the actual change we really want for our kids. Being intrinsically [self-motivated] to love well is far superior to being threatened into acting like you care about others.
So what's the alternative?
Connection. Put the heart first. Here's another post I wrote that gives you some concrete suggestions: "Parenting Where the Heart Comes First."