There's a world of difference between compliance [getting adults/kids to act like you want them to] vs. transformation: One happens through control and pressure; the other happens through connection.
Anyone who has care or charge over someone: church leaders, authors, teachers, parents will end up using one or the other, or a combination of both. Spouses end up using one or the other model as well. However, God uses transformation.
Note that the 'Compliance" approach to relationships leads to regressive, worse behavior over the long-run. Don't be fooled: compliance often looks like change; but it's really a yielding out of fear.
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Helpful resources:
- "Drive - The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us," by Daniel Pink
- "Unconditional Parenting," by Alfie Kohn
- "Connecting," by Larry Crabb